Decisions and Regrets 

Our lives are shaped by the choices had been made for us and, the choices we make for ourselves. Some people make choices based on their feelings, while others make choices based on logic. Sometimes the choice we have to make logically is not right for us. Like choosing a profession. Many parents make plans for their children, deciding whether they will become doctors, lawyers, or teachers. Imagine you have a profession that you don't really like, that you don't enjoy doing, that doesn't make you happy, because your parents wanted it or you are doing it just to make money. Choosing the wrong profession guarantees a stressful life. Remind yourself that it's not too late for anything. Regretting the wrong choice you made will be the second wrong choice you make. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes. If you are still thinking about the mistakes you made in the past, try to remember why you made those mistakes. Close your eyes and go back to the moment you made that choice. Imagine that you do not actually make that choice. This will relax you. In addition, forgive yourself for past mistakes, and apologize for blaming yourself. 

Focus on today, not on the past. 

Focus on what you can do, not what you didn't do. The only thing to regret is living in the past 

The only thing to feel sorrow for is not living each day to the fullest. 

The only thing to do to repent is to sincerely say, I'm sorry. 

Don't live your life regretting yesterday. 

Live your life so tomorrow you won't regret today.

Poet: Catherine Pulsifer, 2007

📌 Meditation lets you become more awake and more purposeful about your actions. It teaches you how to respond, rather than react, to situations in your life. 

How to Meditate: Simple Meditation for Beginners

1. Sit or lie comfortably. 
2. Close your eyes.  
3. Make no effort to control the breath; simply breathe naturally.
4. Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation.

(music has the ability to powerfully shift our state of mind.)

Who You Truly Are

At the root of all the wrong decisions we make in our lives is a lack of self-awareness. Ask yourself: "Who am I?", "What do I want?". If you can't find satisfactory answers to these questions, start thinking about it now. From the moment you start to get to know yourself, you will notice the positive changes in your life based on the decisions you make. For example, if you know you are allergic to oranges, you will decide not to eat them. Because you know that it’s the right thing to do. Although this is a very simple example, from here, think of the large-scale changes you can make in your life if you really know yourself. 

Knowing yourself means understanding your strengths and weaknesses, knowing your fears, your desires and dreams. Discover what you are good at and not good at, what you are passionate about. It means being aware of your eccentricities and idiosyncrasies, your likes and dislikes, and your tolerances and limitations. Knowing yourself means knowing your purpose in life. 

"Not to know yourself is dangerous, to that self and to others. Those who destroy, who cause great suffering, kill off some portion of themselves first, or hide from the knowledge of their acts and from their own emotion, and their internal landscape fills with partitions, caves, minefields, blank spots, pit traps, and more, a landscape turned against itself, a landscape that does not know itself, a landscape through which they may not travel."

Rebecca Solnit, The Faraway Nearby

📌 Some books I can recommend to you:

• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
• Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
  
• Higher by Charles Hanna
• Remember Who You Truly Are by Sally Jane Francis
• Un F*** Yourself by John Gary Bishop
• Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy
• Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live  by Martha Beck
  

Childhood Trauma

Today, many people have difficulty to express their opinions or are unable to express them at all. Often, this is because they are not used to it from an early age. Parents decide for their children, saying "they are just kids" and do not take them seriously. We see the consequences of the traumas we experienced as children in our adulthood. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative experiences (being bullied, having a sick sibling, family problems, physical or sexual abuse, etc.) in childhood. According to the NCTSN, early childhood trauma generally refers to the traumatic experiences that occur to children aged 0-6. Sometimes children can be so sensitive that even a word you say can cause them trauma. Parents have a great role to play in the development of children as sane individuals.

Parents should allow their children to make their own choices. Even at a very young age they should be asked what they want, how they feel, who they want to be. This will be very useful for their self-discovery process. 

Childhood trauma can be healed. Seek out therapy with someone psychoanalytically trained (exposure-based cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) appears to be the most effective).

📌 An ACE score is a tally of different types of abuse, neglect, and other hallmarks of a rough childhood. According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences study, the rougher your childhood, the higher your score is likely to be and the higher your risk for later health problems. You can take the test below: 

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

Prognosticating 

If you are reluctant to make a decision, take a piece of paper and write down the decision you want to make. Divide the sheet in half with a line. On one side of the page, write what will happen if you make that decision, and on the other side, what will happen if you do not make that decision. This will make your decision-making process easier, as you can anticipate the consequences of your decision. 

    🌻                                                    🌻                                                   🌻

The universe wove you from a constellation, 

just so atom, every fibre in you comes from

a different star. 

Together, you are bound by stardust , altogether

spectacularly created by the energy of the

universe itself. 

And that, my darling, 

is the poetry of physics, 

the poetry of you.

— Nikita Gill

I hope you consider the time you spent reading this as productive :)